Bella ish

You know... this has been a good experience, albeit a scary one.

But the effects last. It's like your blood is drained from your face and you can feel the cheekbones drawing in.

Your eyes grow large and you can't seem to breathe, act or think right.

It's a paralyzing fear.

A crippling fear of the unexpected even when things are not what they seem.

The person has frightened me and I hate that it affects me so much. I hate that he has ruined one of my life experience.

I hate that he has killed my smile.

I really do.

And if tears are falling, I'm so messed up, I wonder if it's my own fault at all.

I can't seem to get back up as fast I should.

I can feel myself withering and I wonder why.

Is it me? Is it me? Or is it not me...

And the fact that everyone is so kind and yet so casual, makes me...

...

...

God, is it wrong for me not to have love? When this kind of people are involved?

I'm lost and confused and the guilt is killing me.

I think I'm going to cry.

I'm glad I'm alone in the room.