Butterfly

Sometimes I wish I didn't flit around.

It's really tiring at this moment. I want to take some time off. Rest. Relax.

Wash off all the grime, off body and soul and start afresh.

A time when I can back off and have a quiet time with God.

That's the problem. I've been spending time on all the wrong things.

Sometimes, it's tiring because I keep hoping I'll find perfect Christians, but because they don't follow the standards I'd hope to achieve, I get disappointed, because yet another person that I can't rely on.

Andrea, you just need to rely on God!

Sometimes, it's because I'm not sure if I acted rightly. Is it right to go out with someone and perhaps lead them on. Is it proper? I don't have enough biblical training for this. What should I do, Lord? And I feel like there is no one near to counsel me. It's hard.

Sometimes, I'm not sure if I should be socializing with this group or that group. I flit here. I flit there. But in the end, I don't have any flower to rest my tired wings upon. People are very kind, they treat me equally and all.

I really feel lost. God, can you give me an answer?

I'm confused. I have this philosophy that whatever happens in our life, God guides us and it's for our best, so don't question it. So when I think something bad is going to happen, I start to worry and then I stop myself.

I have to accept that bad things will happen to me right? If God wills it, then I shouldn't be afraid of rape and all right? << this is wrong thinking. I know it is! Just that I'm not strong enough in my faith.

tiring

tiring

tiring

tiring